Laguna Beach in the winter.

i sure am gonna miss the sunny winters 'round here when i move to china. one of the best things about OC has got to be the nearly year round summer weather.

home sweet home.

these past couple weeks have been bittersweet, sad and happy at the same time. i've found nibblet a new home and her new parents and elvis, her bf, are head over heels in love with her. i feel confident that her new life in gorgeous laguna beach, where there are sunbathing decks with an ocean view, a million-dollar beach resort home, a new boyfriend, and gracious loving human parents will give her a life even i will envy.

this is probably one of the hardest things i have had to do in my life. any dog-owner knows that their pooch is just like their child. but following in the tradition of the Joy Luck Club, i'd rather give up my child in the hopes of a wonderful life than keep her and have her possibly put down by the chinese government during quarantine. well not exactly Joy Luck Club, but same premise. i visit her once a week, b/c i miss her and i don't take her home with me, to get used to her not being around. it's been hard, lonely and sad but i tell myself everyday, this is for the best.

here's to nibblet's new home sweet home.

argyle.

my co-worker is mad b/c she and i wore the same exact Target argyle
sweater. i have never had this happen. maybe we have the same decadent
taste. but she's so mad she wants to go home and change! it's better than
wearing the same prom dress!

quote of the day

Hope is a waking dream. -Aristotle

LDR

i never believed in long distance relationships.
i still don't.
and i never will.

so there.

upper sea.

shanghai means upper sea. well, that's my literal translation. i do know that i will definitely experience an "upper" when i "see" d again.

oh romeo romeo wherefore art thou romeo
deny thy father and refuse thy name
for if thou wilt not
be but sworn by my love
and i shall no longer be a capulet.

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot, Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself.

in the mood for shakespeare. these are my 2 fave monologues from billy shakespeare, courtesy of juliet.

call me tragic
call me sick
this is not something
i would pick.

friendship is the only rose without a thorn

here

and then gone

not believing

what went wrong.

friendship

is the only rose without a thorn

a phrase not true

yet well worn.

unconditional

does not exist

disappointment

does persist.

nostalgic

for days gone by

today

a part of me died.

lost dog.

last night as i was driving home, i saw a white dog running around leashless on the sidewalk near my house. my first instinct was to see if it had a tag and take it home with me. and i did not want him/her to get run over by a car. i left my car on the side of the street and began sprinting towards where i last saw the dog. a guy on a bike helped me chase down the dog. i think it was stray cus when i called it, it stopped and growled at me. it didn't seem to have a tag. i ran after it and he kept going. i went back to my car and drove around hoping to find it. i knew if i called animal control, they wouldn't be able to find it. i was kinda sad cus i thought it might get run over and i figured it was stray. it was kinda a sad night. i never saw the dog again.

it looked kinda like this dog.

quotes of the day

everyday when i get into the office, i make myself a hot cup of decaf lemongrass green tea. they have little quotes on the tags. today i had 2 bags. the 2 quotes of the day are:

The truth is the kindest thing we can give folks in the end. -Harriet Beecher Stowe

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. -Chinese proverb

Both quotes carry personal meaning to me today, esp. the first one.

lucky bamboo

whenever i have a new office, i buy a plant and see if i can keep it alive and make it thrive. the only green thumb i have is the color of gangrene, mold, and rot on the plant as it dies. i couldn't keep cactus alive. i was told plants absorb our energy. if the plant is alive, so are you. at my last office, i tried so hard to keep a beautiful plant alive, but it seemed to wilt even though i watered it often. when i left, i bequeathed it to a friend with a green thumb.

i just bought a lucky bamboo and will try my best to keep this alive. i heard bamboo are pretty hardy which is primarily why i bought it, in addition to how cool bamboo are anyway.

here's to life. mine and the (hopefully) lucky bamboo.

Life resolutions.

screw New Year's resolutions. i don't need a new year as an excuse to improve myself. my life is a good enough reason. that's why i've got LIFE resolutions.

1. get healthy. that means getting in shape, getting fit, eating healthier, eating less, exercising. i really need to join a gym to keep the exercise regular. not only cus it's dark when i get outta work, it's probably safer too. and as of today, decreasing my 203 cholesterol count. i don't want to die of a stroke at age 31. this seems to be a rolling resolution.
2. follow through with hobby aspirations. today i attended my first Toastmasters Int'l meeting. tomorrow i plan to enroll in a Ceramics class at a local comm. college. i've been wanting to do both since forever. i've been wanting to enroll in different educational and recreational classes ever since i graduated. eventually i plan to join the Sierra Club informally. it was way too much fun hiking this weekend. and i want to pick up my guitar again. i want to pick up my paintbrush again. i've begun picking up books again. when was the last time anyone read an actual book (besides Twilight, these days?)
3. think positive. again, another rolling resolution. like they say, wherever you go, you follow. and i say wherever you think, you follow.
4. enjoy being alone. enjoy solitude. enjoy my own company. my hobby has always been my friends. friends are a great addition to life, but they shouldn't be your hobby.
5. work on me. this should always be my first priority but somehow has always found a way to remain at the bottom of my list. essentially, if i accomplish the first 4 resolutions, this will be accomplished too.

here's to everyone working on their life resolutions. it may take a lifetime to accomplish them but since you're alive anyway, why not work on a few things?

Toastmasters Int'l

i went to a Toastmasters Int'l meeting tonight and have decided to join. it's one of those life resolutions i never got around to doing. but i decided it's time. it's something i've been wanting to do for years now. it's a group where the members perfect their public speaking skills, group-leading skills and evaluate others' speeches. there is structure, form and organization in the weekly meetings and it was a bit unnerving as i watched the members do planned and impromptu speeches in front of an audience of about 11. public speaking tops the nation's greatest fears list and it's time for me to conquer it. it will do wonders wherever i go, whatever i do. it will make me a more comfortable person in general. in my profession, you do alot of training and presentations and speaking to groups. public speaking is not only essential but part and parcel to my work. this oughta be hard and fun at the same time. we even got a First Time attendees ribbon!

edward.

it's official. i am in love. with edward cullen. it's not just for teens. it's for all women. of all shapes and sizes, ages, and backgrounds. it touches that deep part of a woman that wants to be swept off her feet and to be made to feel that there is no other person edward could ever love, but you. i thought it'd be a sappy teen romance. it was that...and more. i was swooning the entire movie. hanging onto every word he said and movement he made. i haven't been this in love since high school? it's like something inside me came alive.

i want to marry edward. i want to have a vampire boyfriend who rescues me from everything, who carries me atop trees on his back, who tells me he's been waiting his whole life for me, literally. i don't even care if he bites me. :)

malcolm gladwell.

i was so delighted to find that malcolm gladwell had finally written a third book. i had been waiting for him to produce another book for years, after finishing his last book. i read both of his books, The Tipping Point and Blink and absolutely loved his writing style and content. the guy is so intuitive. and now i embark on Outliers.

Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside.

i love missions. i don't think i ever get tired of the old dilapidated rubble, speaking of old ancient history, the old brick and mortar that used to hold the place together and the holy air within. it's like walking back into history. u can feel the life that used to be within these walls. this mission was nice. it was closed but the outside of it was pretty god-like in beauty.

Birch Aquarium at La Jolla.

o





aquariums are so lovely. no matter how many i've been to, i remain awed at the multitude of colors and lifeforms that exist in the deep blue sea (or aquarium). i was tempted to let them all out then realized they would all drown if i burst the aquarium so i changed my mind.

santa monica ain't bad either.

all these years and i've never actually stepped foot on the santa monica pier. maybe one of these days i'll ride that famous ferris wheel.

i love the sky.

i love how it changes in every way possible. it never looks the same twice.

i spend too much time.

i spend too much time trying to love other people and not myself.
i spend too much time trying to be happy around others but not by myself.
i spend too much time co-existing but not existing.
i spend too much time thinking of what i don't have not what i have.
i spend too much time thinking of the glass being half empty and not the fact that there's water at all.
i spend too much time thinking of what's without rather than within.

attitude is everything. so is taking action once you achieve that new attitude.

the best part of a break up is realizing people are put in your lives for you to learn something about yourself and life. you don't really lose anyone. you don't really waste your time. every wrong relationship prepares you for the right one. life to me is about learning, it's about experiences. and here another chapter ends, as one begins.

here's to new beginnings, as the beginning of a new year unfolds.

thank you d for letting me go.

why try.

why try
if it just dies
why lie
if we're just gonna say goodbye?
never again
will i begin
if i won't win
trying is a sin.